Wednesday, October 29, 2008

2009 Wisconsin Hodags

Introducing the 2009 Wisconsin Hodags roster:

Jimmy Foster: Two-time Captain and 5th year scary cutter, super fast, really tall, contains the power and speed to pwn and then bomb deep, probably better than you.
Evan Klane: 3rd year handler, Captain, big time talker, smart than Devan Blaine, and lazer powered Pews!
Tom Animal: 5th year handler, Captain of Madison Club, Officer, next Muffin, flair elevates his game, mutton chops, stock through the roof, unbreakable handler defender, never lifted a weight, previous 1/2 of best buddy pairing ever, and biggest hater.
Jon Gaynor: 3rd year cutter, Officer, known primarily as GAYNAH! and baby face lefty who makes ridiculous faces in all pictures, gangly Jon will stay under the radar most of the season.
Ben Feldman: 3rd year cutter, Officer, lead tournament organizer, recruiter, Hollywood Simba, major C1 proponent, merchandiser, UPA Board Member, Sherwood slayer, and currently with death threats on his head.
Tom Murray: 2nd year cutter, in Pimpdag Hall of Fame, super fast, sky's everybody, and layout catch D specialist.
Adam Drews: 3rd year cutter, last college tournament was CCC 2006, saw Pauly Shore naked, speedster, and lefty bomber.
Matt Young: 4th year grad student, 8th year cutter, Dr. Crumb gets layout D's with a smile across his face, and very old man who consistently wears Packer attire.
Cullen Geppert: 3rd year cutter, dominant defender, dream destroyer, insane athleticism and intensity, dominant at earning TMF's, will layout D your best player.
Pat Donovan: 2nd year cutter, wearing level 97 Diablo Enchanted Dragon Armor, unable to fit through most doorways, will sky you without jumping.
John Bergen: 3rd year handler, chilly handler, Captain Hook surprises every time, loves his scoober, unimpressive physique, won't ever break mark.
Jon Masler: 2nd year handler, big throws, never landed a pull inbounds, lots of heart, plenty of Jew.
Zach Alter: 1st year handler, breaking ankles better than Rebholz.
Jake Smart: 2nd year handler, extremely lazy, big ups, biggest throws in college, yet a giant hyprocondriact.
Yoshi Kakou: 1st year handler, very intensely angry, giant green tongue able to grab anything.
Matt Davidman: 1st year cutter, very cocky, best player you don't know about.
Alex Simmons: 1st year cutter, cannot finish agility ladder, ridiculous layouts, better than Davidman.
John Armstrong: 1st year cutter, KILL MODE.
Dan Park: 1st year cutter, nice throws, good instinct.
Chris Pearce: 1st year cutter, already way better than Tim.
Dave Wiseman: 1st year cutter, next Drew Mahowald.
Jerry McGinnis: 1st year cutter, better looking than Heijmen, next Shane Hohenstein.
Dayu Liu: 1st year handler, will break the mark better than Bergen.

Numbers and full bios to come.


Anonymous said...

yeah LaLa

Anonymous said...

how many years have i been on the team??


brusssucks said...

lets get that fourth star boys.

Weston said...

this roster is just in time for us to adapt our outfits this weekend at so cal warmup. don't want to completely spill the beans but, we're going as the hodags. look for last year's sw foty to be muffin. it's spreading....